We're Gonna Have to Amputate
by Robin Hoodlum
Summary: LoVe snark at each other while watching a movie. Set during season 1.


_This story is set in season 1 between episodes Hot Dog and M.A.D. Some time has lapsed, and Veronica and Logan have been seeing each other for a couple of months. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; just borrowing them. They belong to Rob Thomas. _

We're Gonna Have to Amputate

"Not this movie again, Logan, come on. We watched this just last week," his blonde-haired, pint-sized girlfriend whined, propping her feet comfortably on her partner's vacant lap.

"Tough, Ronnie, it's my turn to pick, and I choose _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. No amount of head tilting or flipping of your hair will get you your way. Besides, it's not like you have any room to talk about watching a movie more than once. Remind me, sugarpuss, have we watched the _South Park _movie four or five times in the span of just two weeks?"

"Does it really count as watching it if it's only playing in the background while we made out?" Veronica countered, quickly getting cut off by Logan's flippant "Yep" while he got up from the tan sofa and popped the movie into the DVD player. He planted a noisy kiss on her temple in jest as he rejoined her on the couch, remote in hand.

"Aw, shucks, chivalry really _is_ dead," she grumbled, stuffing some kettle-corn popcorn into her mouth, and shooting her beau a dirty look when he shushed her as the film started. Ignoring him, she let out an exaggerated "Mmm, this is good popcorn. The sweetness complements the saltiness perfectly. Kind of like you and me, don't ya think, cupcake?"

"Chips?" Logan offered, passing the snack bowl to Veronica and turning the volume up on the modest flatscreen television. Veronica promptly set both snacks on the end table to the left of her.

Lightning-quick, she leapt into Logan's lap, grabbing for the remote that was clutched as far as Logan's long arm could stretch out of her reach. He shifted on the couch, attempting to guard his prize from the invading attack the wily girl was sure to deliver at any moment. Unfortunately, he hadn't guarded his midsection, as Veronica lightly punched him in his gut and took the now lowered remote.

"Jesus, Veronica, what the hell?" Logan complained, gripping his stomach tightly through clenched teeth.

Veronica simply tilted her head innocently as if to say _Who, me?_ and held the remote triumphantly above her head.

"I am invincible!"

"That's it, no more OO7 marathons for you," he grumbled, still holding his stomach in pain.

"Oh, I barely hit you, Logan. Don't be a baby."

When she didn't get an answer, she looked at Logan. _Really looked at him_. Realization dawned on her, and her lips curled into an 'o'. Sympathy and anger dueled over her emotions for a few seconds before the former won out.

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I didn't know. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he sternly answered, straightening back up on the couch in an attempt at ignoring what had just happened.

Veronica picked up a napkin from the coffee table in front of her and waved it in the air in front of the seventeen-year-old's face.

"Come on, I'm waving the white flag here. If you keep frowning like that, you'll get wrinkles on that pretty boy face of yours," she said, trying to ease the tension that had taken over the room.

"Gosh, Ronnie, you think I'm pretty?"

"As a picture."

Veronica knew she'd gotten to him when he reverted back to calling her by his nickname for her. Not to mention she could see him trying to keep his patented smirk off his boyish features.

"Come here then," Logan said, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him, effectively positioning her legs back on his lap comfortably. He whispered into her ear, "It's getting to my favorite part, so if you don't keep quiet, I'm going to have to retrieve the taser you keep in your messenger bag. Okay, sugarpuss?"

Suppressing the urge to remind him of her trusty pit bull curled up on the floor not five feet away, Veronica's eyes drifted back to the television screen in front of her.

Veronica couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped her lips as the black knight hopped around on one leg—the other leg having been cut off—pride and cockiness booming from his voice as he described his missing limb as "a flesh wound."

"Okay, I have to admit, this movie _is_ pretty funny. Men," Veronica continued with a shake of her head. "Can't just admit defeat. Amputation is a more viable option than swallowing their damn pride."

To her surprise, Logan's voice held sadness in it as he answered, "Sometimes sacrificing the limb is the only way to save the life."

She simply nodded her head in understanding, wrapped her right arm around his neck, and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Yeah," she said, "Sometimes a 'fuck you' is just what the doctor ordered."


End file.
